I've had one hell of a week, trying to figure out my future, as well as thinking of a career. I'm just scared to commit to something and then when I want to switch I'll have to to back to school. I guess my real fear is not being happy. I always wanted to work with animals when I was younger and now that I'm allergic, that dream is killed. I just don't want that to happen again.
When talking to peers or even older people I try to talk to them about how they got into their line of work, whether it was by accident, something they always knew they wanted to do or something that was easy to move up in, they had at least some form of plan. For instance, my mother, she worked in the law enforcement field for a while now. It's not something that she wanted to necessarily do, but she got a decent paycheck and met a lot of people
where she was able to get promoted to other job positions that paid more then the last. My mother was really blessed -- with the help of prayer -- when it came to jobs. When I was younger I always thought that was what she wanted to do but that wasn't the case. It was just something... that helped paid for the bills. I've asked many people this question: what made you chose your line of work? And I always get different answers; some follow the money, some is passion, and some are just blessed with connections.
I know I'm young and I'm getting into some pretty deep thoughts about my future, but I can't help it. I feel like I'm just... sitting on my bed doing nothing -- which is what I'm doing while I'm writing this. When I think of my future, I see myself in a suit, in an office with my assistant telling me who was trying to contact me before I came in. There are plenty of jobs like that: artists, lawyers, content writers; the only problem is obtaining those kind of jobs. I've been doing research and came across this website: My Next Move, it helps you look for jobs within your interests and gives you the necessary tools to go about obtaining them; such as a degree, knowledge, skills, even if your personality fits that kind of job. This website is really useful and I use it when I look for jobs on Indeed. It also has a section where even if you didn't know what line of work you wanted, you can take a mini test and it'll give a set of jobs based on your interests. It helped me a lot in thinking about what I want out of my career but after today I don't know if I can continue with getting my degree.
I went to the financial aid office at my school and was notified that I was not eligible of for financial aid. That means that if I wanted to go to school, I would have to pay out of pocket, get a scholarship or take out a loan. There is no way that I'll be able to do that, especially since my job just cut back on my hours making me part time. It's like with every step I take forward, I take five more steps back. Like I mentioned, I love reading and writing and... it's just to too stressful this whole job/soul search bullshit. I mean come on, I'm twenty-one years old, I feel like I'm suppose to have a grasp on life when I don't even know what I want to eat on a daily basis. Why are young people so pressured to find out there career path? I think if you don't know what you want out of life the better. I say this, because your willing to find out what your good at. It's upsetting this whole school situation, and I've been going back and forth with whether a college degree is important or not. There are a lot of jobs out here that you can get without a job degree, I know it's a slim chance of people getting those jobs and as my mom says, "There's a lot of struggle that comes with that path." I've finally decided to just take the loan out because I don't believe in scholarships unless your getting it from the school because you are a bad ass in academic work or sports. I feel like regular people like me just don't really get scholarships. Anyways, I'll definitely keep you guys posted about this whole. "school", ordeal. Until next time ❤️